Patriotism, with a cup of coffee

I was sitting in a cafe waiting for my meal.
The devil sat down next to me, “Want to make a deal?
I can make your waiter come and serve you right away,
and this autumn weather stay the same for every day.”

“I could make your internet as fast as it could be,
Things you buy from overseas have free delivery.
No more public transport that is full or smells of piss,
Tell me now, my Melbourne friend, does that not sound like bliss?”

I replied quite carefully, “Your offer does appeal,
What is it then that you want to satisfy this deal?”
“Oh give me just one thing,” he said, “and your debt will end.
You can have all this and more, just move to New Zealand.”

Trying to not laugh at him, I quickly shook my head,
“It is kind to offer but I rather I was dead.”
“Your offer was quite tempting, sir, please don’t feel so blue,
but you see I cannot go, I’m Aussie through and through.”