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Growing Up

“I swear. If you do it, Mickey, I’m gonna scream so loud!”

“You’re such a cry-baby.” John was getting to be no fun. Maybe it was the age gap thing. It wasn’t as big an issue before but now we are getting older, and I have more independence. Isn’t this the time you are meant to experiment, anyway? Make some mistakes? Gotta have adventures before you get really old. It won’t be long until all I will want to do is lay in bed playing with my phone or sitting in front of Netflix eating ice cream from the tub.
Now, don’t get me wrong. I love ice cream as much as the next person. If allowed, I’d probably have it for breakfast. But I’m past the point where I’d just stick anything in my mouth without thinking about it first.

If I stand on tiptoe I can just reach over the fence and get the latch. Sure, I know if I get caught on the other side I’ll be in a lot of trouble. I’ll be trespassing, technically, I guess. I definitely know I should not be over there, but it is just too tempting.

You see, the other day my mate Tom was over. Tom’s a good kid, though not the sharpest fork in the toaster, as my dad likes to say. I try to be nice, not pick on his baldness or chubby face, but it is impossible not to laugh at his clumsiness. I swear he prefers being on his arse than his feet. Would probably crawl everywhere if given the chance.

Seriously, though, he is a good kid. Plus, I think he has a slight crush on me. No surprise there, though; everyone calls me a cutie. He was definitely trying to be “the big man” when he was telling me about he broke into the pool and had a swim by himself. Not that I’d call him a liar. He wouldn’t dare lie to me.

There’s certainly something attractive about the idea. Lying about in the cool water, maybe having a splash around. All by yourself without distractions or concerns. It’s a warm day, so a perfect time to try and do so. Plus, there is something deliciously naughty about being somewhere you are not meant to be.

 

I can’t reach the latch. Damn it. Damn my short legs straight to hell.

“It’s a bad idea, Mickey.”

“Shut up, Johnny. And if you scream, I swear to God and all the saints above that I will tell everyone I can about the time you drooled all over yourself when you saw that women with the massive tits at the supermarket.”

“Don’t you dare,” he stammers,” that wasn’t my fault, and you know it. Besides, I was hungry, and they did look pretty succulent.”

“Creep.”

I found a box to put against the gate and carefully step up onto it. As long as I didn’t shift my weight too much, I’d be able to balance fine.

Yes!

I can reach it.

As the bolt begins to slip, the voice booms out.

“Michelle Julie Bratton. What do you think you are doing?”

“Busted,”John whispers with glee.

Dammit Mum, where did you come from?

“You didn’t think I would notice?”

Well you weren’t about.

She rushes over and grabs me, “Get off that box before you hurt yourself.”

How dare she! Let go, you witch.

“This is not funny.”

Damn right, it isn’t.

She pulls me off and grapples with me until I cry out in frustration. This just wasn’t fair!

“Now, now, you know you shouldn’t be trying to do things like that.” She coos at me. Actually coos. What does she think I am, some kind of baby?

I’ll show her.

I summon all the energy I have and take a massive dump in my nappy.

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