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The Three Deciders

 

“He’s late.”

“You know how he is, always flitting about. You’re just jealous he can go places.”

“Watch it.”

Rock was angry. They only met four times a year to hold this meeting but every single quarter Paper arrived long after the scheduled time. Rock shifted back and forth, the seat creaking under his weight. Scissors, for some reason, was always so patient. He just sat there, trimming his nails, unconcerned about anything. I wish he was more afraid of me, Rock thought. I mean, he knows that I could squish him like a bug.

Eventually the door swung open.

“Sorry I’m late guys. Big storm out there. I was worried I would fall apart in the rain and my suit is all creased again.” Paper walked over to the fireplace to dry, though careful not to get too close. “What did I miss?”

“Just lunch getting cold,” grumbled Rock, under his breath.

“Sorry?” Paper heard him. He knew he did. Just wanted to piss him off.

“Never mind. Let’s just get on with it.”

Scissors stood up. His lean body with perfect posture annoyed Rock almost as much as Paper’s lateness did. “I call this meeting of the Three Deciders open. Is there any business?”

Rock began to speak before Paper butted in, “Yeah, I’m sick of this business with working out who serves first in tennis. I mean, it’s not that big a sport, financially speaking. Why not just let the coins take care of all of that. They do for the real games, anyway. I mean, I would hate to have to take over at the Australian Open. Not the best environment for us, you have to admit.”

“I think you mean the best environment for YOU.” Rock surprised himself with the forcefulness of his speech. Sometimes it was nice to remember your strength.

“Oh, shut up. You know what I mean. Why can’t we be more involved in the movies or something?”

“Really?” Scissors smirked, “and how would you suggest that happening? What director would risk Brad Pitt against Patton Oswalt for the role of the dashing Pirate?”

Scissors had a point. He usually did. For once, Paper kept quiet.

Scissors continued, “No, Sports has always been our bread and butter, so it stays. However, I have some good news to announce. The national elections will be happening soon, and we all know that the parties will have to choose their leaders. Now, generally these leaders are chosen through a democratic vote, but I feel that we might have a way in this year.”

“They’d never go for it. They like change less than Rock does.” Paper laughed. “How will you convince them?”

Scissors smiled. “Well, they may like versions of you with dollar signs on them, Paper, but we have a secret weapon they don’t know about. Rock’s in their heads.”

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